Discovering Your True Self With Barbara Socher
Do you often feel lost, like you have no idea who you really are? Do you find yourself trapped in cycles of destructive behavior, negative thinking, or disempowering beliefs? Are you always worried about the future or obsessing over your past?
If so, Barbara Socher is a woman you may want to talk to. She’s a Self-Discovery trainer with an incredible story. She teaches methods to help you live a more conscious, empowered, happy, and healthy life.
Check out the audio, or read the transcript below.
Andrea: Welcome back to the show ladies and gentlemen, my next wonderful guest is Barbara Socher, a Self-Discovery Trainer. Barbara has a passion for helping individuals realize their full human potential of creating a happy, fulfilled, and prosperous life. Through numerous self-empowerment techniques, Barbara helps people increase their ability to focus, become self-aware, manage their mind and crazy emotions, and be in the present moment!
Barbara, thank you so much for joining me on the show! Tell me about being a self-discovery trainer and how your journey in your life brought you to this point.
Barbara: Thank you, Andrea, thank you for inviting me. I love what you said about crazy emotions, because sometimes it feels like that, right?
Barbara: Just crazy. Up and down, in and out. So how did I get here? Well, my story is long. I’m going to make it short. I spent some 30 years of my life drinking alcoholically. And not really owning that I was doing that. It just seemed like normal behavior to me.
But I was very unhappy. And I kept moving, I kept looking around the country trying to find out what was wrong. And everywhere I went, I kept on being unhappy. I moved from New Jersey, to New Mexico, to California, and then back again.
It’s called the “geographic cure,” and it wasn’t working for me, Andrea. I was sure that if everybody would do what I wanted them to do everything would be okay, but they just weren’t hearing me.
Andrea: With everyone else in the world, if you only did what I said you’d be really great, right?
Barbara: Exactly. Exactly. When I was in New Jersey, I had a call, the kind of call that every parent dreads in their life. It was in the middle of the night. My son had been in an accident in Florida. And it was a life-threatening accident. And that was certainly sobering and brought me to my knees.
So I left New Jersey and came to Florida 24 years ago, and my son and I agreed, after realizing that he was going to be a quadriplegic and this was a life-long sentence, that we would do everything we could to help him gain his independence within three years.
Which he did.
And we opened up a business. We had a Punk Rock tattoo and clothing store. 27…
Andrea: Wow. After knowing you that doesn’t seem like your style, but that’s really cool.
Barbara: That’s the thing about judging people by their appearance, right? You never know.
Andrea: Yes! You never know.
Barbara: So we did that for 14 years very successfully. Back then, 20 years ago nobody was doing what we were doing. Then about 11 years ago my son came to me, well, actually during the course of that time my son came to me and said he loved me, but he really couldn’t stand my behavior any longer.
And he didn’t know I was drinking the way I was drinking. And that was kind of a shock to me. And a friend came to me and invited me to go to a meeting, which surprised me, because I really still wasn’t owning my behavior was out of control.
My friend assured me that by going to this meeting nothing was contagious, and if I didn’t get any satisfaction I didn’t have to go back. That was the beginning of my recovery because I stopped drinking.
And that was not hard for me. Stopping drinking wasn’t hard for me, Andrea. The change in my behavior has been the big challenge. So after about, I guess about 11 years ago, my son and daughter-in-law came to me and they told me they were going to have a family and they were going to go back to school. My son and daughter-and-law did that.
He went on and got his bachelor’s, then he got a fellowship for his Master’s and started teaching at FAU. She became a nurse. They were well on their way.
They had their family, and I was absolutely lost. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
And I went to see somebody for some help, because I was having so many back problems. And she turned to me and said, “How would you like to learn how to take care of yourself?”
And I knew in that moment she wasn’t talking about my back, Andrea.
And I realized it was time in my life to really start knowing who I am and learning how to manage my life.
Andrea: So how did you do that then? That must have been a pivotal point of an epiphany for you to get ahold of yourself and make changes to get on with your life in a better, and happier, and healthy way. So what was that for you? Tell us that transition.
Barbara: Absolutely. I had stopped drinking quite a number of years before, but I really wasn’t happy, and I wasn’t quite fulfilled, and I don’t think I was the most pleasant person on the planet.
Andrea: That’s very honest to admit. Most people can’t do that. This must really work!
Barbara: Well, it’s about being honest isn’t it?
Andrea: Yes. Yes.
Barbara: I mean I can lie to myself very effectively. But it was not effective anymore than drinking alcoholically was. So coming to this, there’s a complimentary introduction we do with the self-discovery process. And I spent two hours on that introduction. Realized in that time, that I had no idea who I was, that I was really clueless, and there was a lot to learn.
Even though I’d done a lot of studying, a lot of training, read a lot of books, I was involved in the New Age when I was out in California, I still didn’t really know the essence of who I was. So this work is a revolutionary and evolutionary step for humanity, even for people like myself who spent many years studying and seeking big answers.
I believe at the deepest level people want to be their true self, and to express themselves authentic. Would you agree?
Andrea: Yes, and I’m sure they just don’t know the ways to go about doing that. I’m sure your self-discovery training techniques can really help people get to that, so I want to hear more about these self-discovery techniques. Tell us some of these things that you do.
Barbara: Sure. Well this strategy was developed by a Marine for himself. It’s his own process. And his name is Rod James. And if you go to the website, he has a story there as well as 70 articles.
Andrea: What’s the website? Tell our listeners the website so they can check it out.
Barbara: It’s www.sdlifemastery.com. Like I said, there’s 70 articles, there’s several audio downloads, and also, because you can only get so much information from reading, this work is experiential. So I offer a complimentary two hour workshop for individuals who are really seriously interested in finding out what this can do for themselves.
And in that two hours they get an overview not only of self-discovery but also a life perspective: where have I been, where am I now, and what’s in the way of where I want to go?
And always the answer is, “Myself.” I’m the only thing between where I am and where I want to get. Would you agree with that for yourself?
Andrea: Yes. So give us some examples of your techniques, or something that you actually do in a process or a practice with a client that can give us a taste of how we can become more self-aware and manage our emotions or be able to focus better. Give us some examples of that.
Barbara: Ok, before we do that I’m going to teach you a technique right now. It’s called “present-moment awareness.” Because when we talk about the past it’s from now, when we talk about the future it’s from now, really the only time is now.
And the challenges I faced in my life, everyone has their own challenges. But it’s taking full responsibility and realize we are creating our lives, we are the author of our life, how we’re doing that, how we can create more of what we prefer and less of what we don’t prefer, in a more practical, deliberate manner, that’s what’s so profound about it.
It’s very simple, and I’m going to show you that.
So the intent of this discovery is to give you the most direct, efficient, and effective technology to reveal your true self to you. To become it, to identify with it as who you are, and let go all of your limitations. Your stress, your pain, your worry, your struggling. And to become the authority of your own life.
I know that sounds very lofty and unrealistic, but I have to tell you it works, and it’s practical.
Andrea: Could you imagine if people could actually live in their highest self, if they could just make decisions and behaviors based on what’s best? It’s always easy to be really good if everything’s going good. But can you be your best self in a difficult situation? So if you knew the truth of who you are and you could really be able to live that daily, the whole world would be a better place.
Barbara: That’s what it’s about, Andrea. It’s the application and practice of these techniques supports a person naturally towards being more honest, responsible, compassionate, more powerful in the highest meaning of the word. And so it’s really about our whole vision and mission is on the website, and it’s about creating an enlightened civilization, which starts with the individual. Do it for yourself, and then everybody benefits.
Andrea: That’s wonderful.
Barbara: And release the stress.
Barbara: So let me go into this technique. You want to learn this?
Andrea: Yeah, yeah, go ahead! I’m excited.
Barbara: Now this is called…
Andrea: Sitting quietly in my chair. Being present in the moment.
Barbara: Good. So now I’m going to instruct you to just direct your attention and awareness. Become aware of the sense of sight.
Andrea: Okay, listeners, are you listening? Sit quiet and be aware of the sense of sight.
Barbara: I want you to just notice the colors. Textures. Sizes and shapes of objects around you in a new and more aware way. Just relax. Remember to breathe. It’s a little bit like a baby. Baby doesn’t have words for things, they just experience. I want you to let go of any judgment and gently redirect your attention, become aware of the sense of sight.
Deepen your awareness of the colors, lighting, textures, sizes and shapes of objects around you.
Your mind is drifting. Just gently redirect it. While being aware of the sights around you, also become aware of the sounds. Just listen to sounds in your environment without any opinion. As if you’ve never really heard them before.
And notice the subtleties of these sounds.
While being aware of the sights and sounds, also become aware of the touch sensation. Rub your skin with your hand. Tap your finger on something. Feel your clothes where they touch your body. Get all three of the senses involved at once. See. Hear. And feel. Be aware of all the sensory feedback simultaneously.
Allow yourself to feel the connection with your environment. Be fully present in the moment.
How are you feeling, Andrea?
Andrea: No, it’s really wonderful and peaceful to be in such serenity. And not until you mentioned what to look at or to be specifically aware of it, you’re really not aware of it. But when you bring your mind and attention to it, it becomes much more profoundly new to you.
Barbara: So what’s the value of that to you Andrea, to be present?
Andrea: When you really are in the moment, you’re all in. Your head is where your body is. You don’t have thoughts of anything else. You can really, truly enjoy exactly where you are, and not really needing to be anywhere else. Most people are just rushing, thinking the next moment is better than the one you’re in as you are.
And that’s the one you’re in, if you’re rushing to the next one and worrying about the last one. So sitting quietly in this present moment was very profound. I’m at my desk, there’s this clock that’s always on the desk. There’s a clock with a pen in it, I got it as a gift. And as I sat quiet, as you said to listen to the sounds, I could really hear it ticking then.
It’s one of those old-fashioned ones clickity clocks. It’s not a digital clock. And I never hear it! So when you said listen to the sounds and just pay attention, I really heard it just clicking away. It made me much more aware of it.
So it absolutely was very profound, and very peaceful. Peace-inducing. Very calm. Calm inducing.
Barbara: Well we live in such a fast-paced world. Slowing down that locomotive of your mind and your life, it may not stop right away, but at least slowing it down to be able to experience anything. I can remember growing up people saying, “Stop and smell the roses.”
Well, I never saw any roses.
Andrea: You didn’t even smell them because you couldn’t see them!
Barbara: So overcoming challenges in this life, learning how to live in this very, very fast-paced world, releasing the stress. You’re a health and fitness trainer. You know that stress is the major cause of illness.
Andrea: Absolutely. And I incorporate some stress-reducing practices in my practice as well. My life coaching. And I even include stress reduction in choosing foods. Because you know when people think they have to be on a diet it’s very stressful. So I tell them: I never use the word diet. The first few letters of diet is ‘die.’ Just say: I eat nutritiously.
When people say, “I eat nutritiously,” instead of “I’m on a diet,” immediately that reduces their stress. And it puts them on eating better foods instead of not being allowed to eat something that they think they want.
So it’s the same mindfulness practice in my area. I’m going to definitely use your practices to increase the awareness of my clients in my practice. I think it was fabulous.
Barbara: Sure. Being able to increase your awareness increases your effectiveness and your ability to be more deliberate in every area of your life you apply it to. It’s certainly good for exercising, practicing yoga and martial arts. But being aware and present with our loved ones.
You know we miss so much of our life. I missed so much of my life. I’ll speak for myself. Being in my head thinking about things instead of actually experiencing them. So the lessons that I learned at the very beginning of this process was I was being run by a self-destructive identity. And I could take command of that identity.
That alcoholic drinking was an identity. And that once I took command of it had no more power over me than I gave it.
Which was profoundly empowering for me.
And the other amazing profound experience for me was when I came from New Jersey to be with my son. I realized we’re not our body. We have a body. Who he is goes way beyond his physicality. And that would apply for me as well. That was extraordinary for me.
And this work lets you operate from such a high state of awareness. To take command of this and live your highest and true self. And create what you want in your life.
Andrea: Wow. That’s so profound. Everybody’s looking for an epiphany, Barbara, and you can really help them get that. If someone can reach that level of self-awareness, they can do miraculous things and totally change their life around. Being fit and excited about living. Going out there and sharing their gift with the world. Making a profound difference.
Being a part of life instead of running from it. So I want to thank you so much for being on the show to share that with us. I think we might be running out of time. So I want to ask you for your last few thoughts, or a message to send out to the world. And your website one more time, and your phone number and how to reach you.
Barbara: Sure. We have…I work with people all over the country as well as locally. This can be done over the phone. Our website is www.sdlifemastery.com. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org. My phone number is (561) 543-2944, and I offer a complementary two hour introduction to this profound, life-changing work.
We have a big center in Ft. Lauderdale, where twice a month we have workshops, introductory workshops there, that are two hours, and I have once a month one in West Palm Beach, the area I live in. And I have one actually coming up this coming Wednesday 7-9 PM. If anyone’s interested certainly invite them to attend.
And I thank you for your time.
Andrea: That’s great. That’s so great. I want to say thank you so much for being on the show and extending that, and for you to give your personal cell number to people is truly altruistic to help everyone. I’m so thrilled that you came to share these methods and techniques with us so we can help people really find an inner peace. You know when you actually have your sense of self, have awareness, have appreciation for life, can communicate more effectively, lovingly, with your family or strangers on the street, you make a profound difference in the energies of humanity in the world.
And until everyone can really shore themselves up and figure that out, we’re kind of walking around a little bit like the zombie show. I know that sounds funny, but when you really get that shift in your consciousness and awareness, that is really what is going to make a difference in the lives of people individually and collectively in the world.
Barbara: Being able to release your stress, enjoy your peace of mind, have more success, fulfillment, improve relationships: those are profound, when you have the ability to do it. Everything’s easy when you know how. And this is the step-by-step how to. It’s not a concept. It’s actual techniques you can apply effortlessly.
Andrea: That’s wonderful. I want to thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing that with us. And all you listeners out there, if you’re interested in expanding your horizons, opening your mind, being more self-aware and conscious in the present moment, please visit her website at www.sdlifemastery.com. And thank you for joining us. We’ll see you next show.
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